Puns
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
Yeoooo.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?