Puns
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
You're overreacting.