Puns
Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Joe, I wish you had never asked me to scout for a fresh tight end.
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Do you want a book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down!
Yo, Buster, I hope I am not busting your bubble.
you.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"