Puns

- I think you're EGGcellent.

+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

- Really? Are you done yet?.

+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.

Son, we are geniuses!

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!

What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.

Hehehe

I tried to catch fog, but I mist.

I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.

You thought his puns were bad, wait till you sea mine!

"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.

What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?

Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?

'Cause he made his home run.

A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.

One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.

What was the epileptic chef’s house special?

Seizure salad.

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.