Puns
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
No, I don't want to.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
My Butterfingers slipped.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
Pete: Knock, knock...
Paul: Who's there?
Pete: Boo...
Paul: Boo who?
Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!
Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Yeoooo.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
Sauron said, "Eye see all."