Puns
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"
That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.