Puns

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

I would tell you a joke about pizza,

but it's too cheesy.

The earth is not round.

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My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

What is a "dad?"

Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?

"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."

What's a bull's favorite body part?

An eye-BULL!

What do you call a bunch of llamas?

Alpaca llama.

What does Mickey's wife drive?

A Minnie-Van!

Why do tables never need wheelchairs?

Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.

Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.

Sup?

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!