Puns
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.