Puns

Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!

Where do pencils go on holiday?

Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)

I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.

Eggs

You crack me up!

If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?

Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"

My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.

Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?

A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

Why did the vegetable go to jail?

He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.

Ur dad lesbian.

Ur sister a mister.

Ur family tree LGBT.

Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.

I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?

In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?

Continental Drift.