Puns
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
Josh
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
Get confused with Confucius!
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Suck my ass, guys!
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂