Puns
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
Eggs
You crack me up!
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
My life.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!