Puns
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
My parents love me.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.