Puns
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
My parents love me.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
My name is Gunter.