Puns

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Wood-fired pizza.

How would pizza get a job now?

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

Scree.

What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?

DUH! A sticker.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!

One day a fh iufh uig8v cdy ufh pufvbf ufiu pofiu9fh fiv9fd and a ihefipuivbrivbvhbuirhvbifbvirvueuvgevuebvuerevheubyebubv8ub and a uhckebckjebicbevivhcbehvhbeuybvuebvubvbevcb and one uchercvievciouevihevc98f9p8r78797t587t987dbgioubriogbrihj and they all say we are hacks.

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.

Why don't we wrestle bears?

The pain is un-bearable.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?

The Doughker.

New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.

What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.

How are urinals made?

They get installed.

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.