Puns
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
My parents love me.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!