Puns
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
My parents love me.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.