Puns
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
My name is Gunter.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."