Puns
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)