Puns
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
My name is Gunter.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!