Puns
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
Bob: Kanye West.
Dad: No, but I can East.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.