Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Puns
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
Scree.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
