Puns

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"

I said, "Are you going to punish me?"

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Answer: Damn!

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!

What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?

A pork chop.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.

Two's company, cheese a crowd!