Job

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

Sarcasm

People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.

"Hey, how do I look?"

"With your eyes, Joe."

Waist

What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?

A waist of time.

Batter

Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!

Teacher

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

Fish

Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Answer: Damn!

Margarine

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Programmer

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."