Puns
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.