Puns

Your mum gay. LOL. Funny me!

I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.

You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.

"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."

Gay shit.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

Running, JK rolling!

I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"

"Because I was Russian!"

But why?

A man walked into a fleshlight and died.

What type of bee makes milk?

A boobee.

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.

I should put a little more backbone into them.

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?

You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.