Puns
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Am I in Florida, because I'm triggered?
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Geology rocks!
pussi
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.