Puns

Someone asked me where to find de wae?

I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snow balls.

Can we have a party in space?

First, we need to planet ;)

Get it? "Plan it" = planet.

Where do pencils go on holiday? Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)

What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?

I’m thursty (Thursday).

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

What did one bear reply to his bad pun?

"Bear with me!"

"Knock knock?"

"Mustache."

"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.

But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave.

The waiter recommended the rug meal.

She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.

Where did the one legged lady work?

IHOP

Why did the child cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.

I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"

Wanna hear a joke?

Your outfit. Har har!

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.