Ion jokes

An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had its ion someone else.

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.

Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?

Because he was playing with a cheetah!

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

like if you know someone that is emo.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"