Psychology jokes
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!
Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.
The bully: Your gay.
The nerd: You are.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: What, your gay?