Psychology jokes

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.

Not a joke; just a statement:

Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.

The rapist is a therapist.

Lol.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Suicide squad.

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Why do people always bully orphans?

'Cause what can they do? Tell their parents?

What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?

The color black.

Real Pokémon.

Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.