Problem jokes
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
"Prince, please help me. This faker is driving me crazy!"
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
Why was Liverpool the worst bespoke? Rio supports it, hahah!
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."