Power jokes

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

If stupidity was a superpower, BLESSEDBRIAN would be a MARVEL CHARACTER.

How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?

They take a "power puff."

Naruto solos.

In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

What do you call an ant with so much power?

A ter-mite.

I had power.

Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.