In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
Old soviet joke. Who is your mother? Our great Soviet country. Who is your father? Our dear comrade Stalin. What's your greatest desire? Becoming an orphan.
In america, you fight Ukraine. In soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
In America, you find Waldo In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you
a russian wedding should be called a soviet union
In normal country you call it Yugoslavia. In soviet Russia its call aregoslavia.
In normal country you call it Yugoslavia. In soviet Russia its called yugostravia.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
America:i going to build a wall
Nazi:been there
Soviet union:done that
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you
In America, you work on plantation In Soviet Russia, plantation work on you!
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former soviet union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
In America, you catch picachu, in Soviet Russia, picachu catches you. https://static.wixstatic.com/media/7a7436_784a4f4d74314d0f8d74234b57dcd2ee~mv2.jpeg
In Soviet Russia, You love Chinese and hate Chinese
An american is touring the Soviet union. A russian takes him to a school so he can see what its like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The american asks whats wrong and he cries "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a kgb badge and says “you two are coming with me for treason.” One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says “Not me.” The third man pulls out a badge and says “Wow? There’s a lot of agents here.”
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
In america, mom births you.
In soviet russia, you birth mom.
Why were parts of the soviet union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2? They couldn't beet the Nazis. bud um ching
