Power jokes

What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.

If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?

He blacks out.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."

Tony jumps off.

"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."

Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."

Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."

Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"

How did Stephen Hawking die?

There was a power outage.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.