What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.
Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."
Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in between 6 and 9.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
I woke up on the floor this morning. I think I woke up on the wrong side though.
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
