My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
