Position

Position Jokes

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

4

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? -- Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

0

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I've lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive!

This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)