Politics jokes
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Biden 2020.
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
Yessssss, MEaster!
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!
It was eloHssA OllEH!!
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.