Politics

Politics jokes

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

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    • God- make a grumpy old man president.

    Angel- why?

    G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

    A- okay.

    G- make him not pay taxes.

    A- okay...

    Fast forward to 2020

    G- you know that grumpy old man?

    A- yea...

    G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

    A- Krona.

    G- exactly.

    A- why do you hate humans so much?

    G- because I can.

    If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

    What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

    "Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.

    I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.

    "This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."

    "This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."

    I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!

    Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?

    He's white on the inside.

    He's orange on the outside.

    And then there's that stick!

    What do the initials NOW stand for?

    (A.) National Organization For Women

    (B.) National Organization of Whores

    (C.) All the above

    Answer:

    Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.

  • 1

    • What do cheap people use to talk?

    Free speech.

    China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!

    Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

    Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

    There is a feminist group in my town.

    It is called Gal-Qaeda.

    (I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)

    A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.

    Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.

    Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!

    It was eloHssA OllEH!!