What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
why do orphans place baseball,
Because they have to run back to home base
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
What do you call a zoo with no dogs? A shit zoo! 😂😂😂😂😂
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?
Friend: But you're an orphan.
Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go
I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
It’s the only place they can vote!
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
