My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
Why was Liverpool the worst bespoke? Rio supports it, hahah!
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
What is the definition of Hell, a city in the state of Michigan?
Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Where are the multi's? Where are they at? The placations?
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
