Place jokes

What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?

Octopied.

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Don't bother; just try to live in England.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

Five Guys.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.

Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?

Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.

What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?

Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...

What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?

Answer: Forever 21.

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?

A: Right where you left 'em.

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"