Place jokes

What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?

Octopied.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

Five Guys.

Don't bother; just try to live in England.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?

Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.

What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?

Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...

What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?

Answer: Forever 21.

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?

A: Right where you left 'em.

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.