The other day my wife said "take me someplace I have never been before, I said why don't you try the kitchen! "
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger
Whats the moto for a pizza place thats also a abortion clinic: your loss is our sauce
whats a pedophiles favorite place to go in? Kum and go
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy
Why do orphans love tennis? Coz it is the only place they can get love
What is a cannibals favourite place to go? An orphanage, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans go to church?
Cause its the only place were they get to call him father
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? Its kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.”
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what i name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
And there the referee taking down Ronaldo's number. Not really the time or the place but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman
At least the the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
whats another place orphans cant work at besides SC Johnson
The Home Depot.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.