Place jokes
Where are the multi's? Where are they at? The placations?
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
What happens when the Freedom Towers got hit? They step in Ground Zero.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.
Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
What is the continent that ALWAYS sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and that is so tired that it won’t wake up? Eur-ope.
What is your address?
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Where is the wall's favorite place to meet his friends?
A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.
He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."