Pilot jokes
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.