Pilot jokes

Two female mice met and one spoke:

"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."

Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."

"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"

The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"

"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"

They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"

"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"

The pilot goes "We're going down!"

The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

9/11 pilots are the best readers.

They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?

Fly Guy

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥