Aviation jokes
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
9/11 jokes aren't funny. They are just plane wrong.
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.