Pilot jokes
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.