Aircraft jokes
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
Why did the 767 fly into the towers?
Because a310 dared it to.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”
“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Women were flying the plane.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
787 bowing.