Aircraft jokes
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?
They are just two plane.
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
What did death say during a helicopter crash?
KOBE!
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
You might think these jokes are plane.
I saw some twins, so I threw a paper plane at them.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."