Phrase jokes
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Which flies cannot be seen?
Time flies.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you ♥️.
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
No way, Jose!
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.