What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Which flies cannot be seen?
Time flies.
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
