Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is... . . . . . . . . She said nothing....
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."