What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name only the dog comes back.
Whats wrong with asian pet stores? Theres no pets
there's a kid with loads of new fire men equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kids asks the firemen come have a look at my new gear so the fire men go look at his gear so then the kid says kid: I've got a helmet a big jacket and a oxygen tank and a little wheel barrow for my gear
firemen says: why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls the kid says so I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless untill you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I was at school one day and my teacher gave me home work and once i got home i did not do my home work but i watched TV after movie i finally went to go do my home work i was almost done with my home work when i got to the last question i didnt know the answer so i asked the closest living being to me witch was my dog and i asked him: whats two minus two? he said nothing
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.
The last thing I said to my dog was Play dead
you masturbate... AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you wont get any squirtle and bulbasaur pets
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway
Sometimes I am happy and there are times I envy my dog 🤧
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like bitch we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
My mom ate my food, So I ate her pet hamster ;}
What’s the difference between a child and someone who been kidnapped?? One of them is a domesticated pet
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on a floor But only for like twenty seconds
My dad said wheres pickles the family cat i said im sorry to say hes in the sky, oh i see he passed away no i strapped him to 20 fireworks
uR Adoptodded
if your a cat person never let hungry chinese into your house they might just have a snack
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time bone appetit
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
