My dog died I'm so sad
What does a Male Asian P*rnstar like to say? "I love eating cat"
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
What do you call a house with dog hair? A shed
I Live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food so I called my dog over
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me: ...
Me: Bitch please.
Which dog is owned by a Kid called ,,Charlie Brown",raps and smokes?
Snoopy Dog
I asked my dog this morning how her weeks been going- she said "ruff". I feel her you know? I feel her.
A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
whats the diffrence between a dog and a dad ? The dog comes back
I was in class and we had to chose another term for words we use everyday, for kid I chose child for dig I chose pet and for wife I chose dishwasher
What do you call a cat with two legss instead of four Dead and without use that's what I feel like
Right I have a dog and his name is syndrome and when ever he is Good I go back good syndrome but when ever he is naughty I go Down syndrome
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
hahahahahha
1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes. When she got the puppy, he was nice. But the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually the parents got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food you know.” The parents only answered with “oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy..he won’t need feeding for years.”
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone Catastrophe
Q: If a cat says to a dog all dogs are liars and the dog says to the cat all cats are liars what does it mean?
A; It means cats and dogs can talk.
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
