Pet jokes
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
Why did the boy get a koala? He had the koalafications.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
The fucking cat!
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!