Pet

Pet jokes

I started crying when my dad cut up onions.

Onions was such a good hamster.

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    • My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

    The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

    Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

    I have a dog named Syndrome.

    But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

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    • I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

    I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

    Why?

    The ducks keep trying to eat him.

    Why would they do that?

    Because he’s pure-bread.

    You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

    Why did the rapper go to the pet store?

    To buy a dog for his bark tracks!

    God creates dog.

    God: "You are man's best friend."

    Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

    God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

    Dog: "....."

    God: "And chocolate kills you!"

    Dog: "🐶"