Pet

Pet jokes

One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.

The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”

The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”

The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”

So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.

The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”

The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”

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    • I started crying when my dad cut up onions.

    Onions was such a good hamster.

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    • My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

    The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

    Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

    I have a dog named Syndrome.

    But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

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    • I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

    I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

    Why?

    The ducks keep trying to eat him.

    Why would they do that?

    Because he’s pure-bread.

    You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

    Why did the rapper go to the pet store?

    To buy a dog for his bark tracks!

    God creates dog.

    God: "You are man's best friend."

    Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

    God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

    Dog: "....."

    God: "And chocolate kills you!"

    Dog: "🐶"