What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over and he is going to sleep over so I was happy. The next day I ask my mom wheres the dog at my mom ask me what dog. Then I said to my mom I heard Paul said do you want it doggy and you said yeah.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
what happens when you eat a cat I love to eat cats for dinner
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his BARK TRACKS
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A RHYMING PARROT
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS
*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"
Dog: "That's pretty sexist"
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A BOOMBOXER
A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day 😮💨
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Why do white people own a lot of pets? Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
why couldn't the annoying dog get on papyrus's nerves? HE'S A SKELETON.HE DOSEN'T HAVE ANY.
I asked my now ex boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat so yeah 😂)
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat , but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
