Personal jokes

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.

Sorry, no adults allowed.

Only 3 per person.

For people who love Gwen and think she is the best person on this website, comment if so.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

All of them are married!

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."

Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!

Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?

Person B: Let me check.

Person B: It's greenglish!

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.