Personal jokes

A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.

What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.

If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).

Person 1: A life.

Person 2: I don't get it.

Person 1: Exactly.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"

Person 2: "What is it?"

Person 1: "Plagiarism!"

Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?

Person B: Let me check.

Person B: It's greenglish!

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

Symptoms of Schizophrenia.

The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:

Delusions

Hallucinations

I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.

If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!