Personal jokes

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?

Because they keepped.

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.

A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!