Personal jokes
I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"