Personal jokes

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?

Ground beef.

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."

Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!

I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.

Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?

Person B: Let me check.

Person B: It's greenglish!

Person 1: A life.

Person 2: I don't get it.

Person 1: Exactly.

1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?

2nd person: What?

1st person: A pianist.

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.

"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.

The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.

"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."

Symptoms of Schizophrenia.

The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:

Delusions

Hallucinations

I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.

If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"