Personal jokes
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!