Personal jokes

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.

A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!