Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?
Because they keepped.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
