Personal jokes

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.

She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”

The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”

The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

What do you call a white person from Africa?

Albino.

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.

Me: Me.

What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

What do cannibals call a person that is running?

Fast food.

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

Why did the emo person cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.