Personal jokes

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

What do cannibals call a person that is running?

Fast food.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Why did the emo person cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.

She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”

The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”

The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”

Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.

Me: Me.

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

Dumb person: Wat idk mean?

Person 1: I don’t know.

Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.

Person 1: Wait idk means--

Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?

Googol: I don’t know.

Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

What do you call a white person from Africa?

Albino.

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.