Personal Jokes

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom whats dark humor?" I thought about it than said, "Go wave to that blind person" and he just looked at me, confused, but angry.

A cop pulls me over and asks if i have been drinking. I'm an honest person and say yes i did so i take of my sunglasses, and tell him that i now had 2glasses less.

when I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than its always a nut shot

As a son I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CCD. It was on speaker so me and mom hear both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.

A man went to buy 5 undie so he said hi 5 undis plz 1 4 each weekday.and then another man comes and said hi 7 undies please 1 for each day and theyll finish cleaning by sunday so the cashier said now thats more like it and then another person said hi 12 undies please wait imma double check january fe

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First ignore them until they ask you if your going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them would they get on all fours and bark back? After that continue to ignore them.

There was a fancy dress party the theme was emotions. one guy came dressed in green and he was envy, another person came dressed in red and she was anger another guy came dressed in blue and he was sadness. Two indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear said he was deep in dispear, the other indian came with his d*** in custard and he said he was f***ing dicustard

What's a suicidal person's favorite drink? the depressay expressay just kidding, bleach

Here are some skeleton jokes You know the average person tries to hard and works himself to the bone If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone i can give you a real humerous joke I used to play the trumpet now i play the xylo-bone im always happy nothing gets under my skin I made you some turkey for lunch Bone appetit Im glad i had you im no longer bonely Ive got a skele-ton of more jokes but i'm just giving you one more Did you hear about the skeleton ninja he was very skullful (skillful)

So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted

i was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled " do you know CPR?" i replied "i know the entire alphabet!" we all laughed and laughed, well. except one person

whats a dead persons favorite sentence**?I made it

every single person on the plane died exept for 2 how is that posible?

It seid all the single people died the 2 were a couple. Thats how it was possible

me an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes* some person: stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain me an orphan: that the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

feeling stressed? have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

what do you call a bald person on fire a fried egg