Personal

Personal jokes

Trump

  • Trump should be grateful for DEI.

    How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?

  • 0
  • State

  • Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

    A. A loaded potato.

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  • Prank

  • I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

    The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

  • 2
  • Sister

  • I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.

    He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!

  • 1
  • Racism

  • I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

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  • Background

  • "Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

    Firefighter

  • Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

    Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

  • 1
  • Room

  • What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?

    Air quality alert code brown!

  • 1
  • Jacket

  • How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.

    How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.

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  • Boy

  • Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?

    Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.

  • 1
  • President

  • A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

    And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

  • 1