Personal jokes
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.