Personal jokes
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.