Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?
Because he was cutting in line!
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.