Performance jokes
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "She was a little tardy."
I asked her, "I thought they all were."
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
What do you call a rapper with bad credit?
Lil Borrow.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
What do Rapboat and Caseoh have in common?
They're both chubby.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!