Competence jokes

Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.