Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man bisexual
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman? if a man is performing anilingus on a woman it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy you fucking idiot !!!!!
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations he says, "Thank you for your donation!"
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
My wife and I have been married over 30 years. But don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done I said "How bout you give me a standing ovation." I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair. Sad and lonely
There was a news the other where a magician disappeared. He was like"at the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Des,and he disappeared without a trace.
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
How do you make a juggler laugh? YOU TICKLE HIS BALLS
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience. The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "if you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Why do tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place "Now sashimi now you don't"
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
