Perception jokes
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Look in a mirror.
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
What is the similarity between a joke and food? Some people just don't get them!
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.